LinuxMusicians

I think that there can be no higher honor for a person than to receive a custom-made song that speaks to something unique within them. To know that you were the source of inspiration for a work of art is rare gift indeed. Most people will never know how that feels. Anyone who is not humbled by such a gift is a churl and a lout.

If you just took a bunch songs that you had already recorded and burned them to CD and gave it... it doesn't have the same impact, because it isn't tailored to the recipient. It isn't that the songs are not any good, it is just that the recipient was not the source of inspiration, and the gift just seems that much more arbitrary. You were not necessarily thinking of them specifically when you created those songs. In this way it really isn't that different than the tangible arts. If someone made me a cane, tailored it to my tastes, my height, my particular limp and gave it to me as a gift, it would mean more to me than if they just went into their wood shop and grabbed any old one they had on the rack.

If you gave a gift that was specifically tailored to that person, and had the balls to be vulnerable enough to share a piece of your soul -- then you should feel good about it (even if they are too crude or materialistic to appreciate it). If you did less than that... then maybe you have your answer There is still nothing wrong with it, but I wouldn't expect anyone to melt.

There are many reasons I think that this vexes musicians. We tend to be an insecure lot to begin with... and music is not something easily quantified. You can look at a piece of jewelry, look at the purity of the gold, weight it... touch it, wear it... everyone can appreciate that. Music is more subjective, and indeed, most people don't know how to properly consume it anyway... so its value in the eyes of others can always be easily drawn into question. But my advice is... do not concern yourself with it. Keep writing. Keep playing. Keep recording. Keep creating. Rock on,

Yes, it's all about context.

Interesting how universal this experience has been for us! I could share another half a dozen anecdotes from my own attempts to give away my music, all along the same lines. I thought it was just my social phobia making me feel awkward about it, but this thread makes me think there is more to it, and several of your replies have been quite perceptive.

Even on this forum of musicians sometimes you post music and get only crickets responding. It is the rare song and the rare gift recipient that transcends this status quo.

The most important defense mechanism for an amateur musician to have is that laser-focus on just trying to please your audience of one. Everything else, even your own family members liking your song, is a bonus when you can get it.

Something that people almost always appreciate seems to be when you play happy birthday to them on their birthday. And it's cheaper than a card. I think the important thing is to stay under a minute.

Otherwise, Idon't think I would want to share what I do for a hobby with people who hadn't directly asked me. I remember going to a ukulele festival and having someone put a sticker for their band on my uke case without asking me. It's covered in stickers already, and although I said nothing I was pretty irritated.

Part of the equation is to know what kind of music somebody likes,
so giving your chugging metal masterpiece to a jazz afficionado might end up awkward.
Or western ballads and soapy love songs for a head-banger?

Another consideration is whose turf does the act of giving take place on.
If someone is in their workplace, with no avenue of retreat, which you often visit,
and they don't like your music, awkwardness may approach.

I find a brief explanation of what is being offered is well received, and people
not interested are usually honest and polite about it.

It helps if your songs are worth hearing a second and third time.
A song is a bit like a meal, and if you invite friends over for dinner,
you'll likely go to extremes to make it good enough, that they hope for second helpings.

It also may be, that music creators care more about music, than music consumers,
and we can over-estimate it's importance to the recipent. Grooveman makes a great
point above, that in personal situations, a special and dedicated personal gift, can be a great
blessing for someone.
Cheers

You make it about you and not them.

Same thing if you were to buy your girlfriend / wife a lingerie set with the type of items you are not sure she's comfortable to wear.