Linux Tariffs
Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2018 1:37 am
This morning, Trump administration officials announced significant new tariffs upon imported Linux distributions. The decision came after the president's meeting with Apple and Microsoft executives who complained that the dumping of imported linux distros was hurting the domestic operating system market. Tim Cook, Apple CEO, also accused foreign firms of violating Apple's USA patent on "the process of arranging atoms into physical objects". President Trump responded with a decision to raise tariffs upon imported linux distros by double, from the current 0% to a new rate of 20%. (Don't try to validate the math. This is the Trump administration after all.)
In particular, canadian distro AVLinux will be immediately levied with a 20% tariff. Tensions between the two countries' creative software communities heightened after AVLinux maintainer Glen MacArthur posted an instagram photo of himself holding what appeared to be a silhouette of Mickey Mouse's severed head dripping with blood. Justin Trudeau, a spokesperson for MacArthur (ie, canadian politicians aren't very important) argued "That wasn't blood. It was ketsup. And that wasn't a Mickey Mouse silhouette. It was a cajon-blackened steak Glen ate for lunch.".
Also affected by the new tariffs is the european distro KxStudio, maintained by "NATO foe" Felipe Coelho. Coelho has sent a letter of protest directly addressed to Donald Trump. When asked if Trump read the letter, Whitehouse press liar Sarah Hustle-Me Sanders replied "The president doesn't even read letters written in english, let alone one written in a language spoken in *hithole countries like Brazil".
Tensions between Trump and europe heightened when, during Trump's visit to the UK, he said about Queen Elizabeth that "her tits are so old and saggy, she doesn't need kneepads when gardening.".
On a completely unrelated and purely circumstantial matter, Trump signed an executive order removing the prohibition upon american firms from selling the Windows and iOS operating systems to russian computer hackers in the kremlin. NO COLLUSION!
The above information was provided by Fox News. So you know it's fair, and balanced, and may even bear a slight resemblance to reality.
Disclaimer: No banjo was injured during the drafting of this report.
But only because I don't own a banjo.
p.s. I'm back.
p.p.s. When it comes to fomenting angry mobs, khz is a rank amateur compared to me.
In particular, canadian distro AVLinux will be immediately levied with a 20% tariff. Tensions between the two countries' creative software communities heightened after AVLinux maintainer Glen MacArthur posted an instagram photo of himself holding what appeared to be a silhouette of Mickey Mouse's severed head dripping with blood. Justin Trudeau, a spokesperson for MacArthur (ie, canadian politicians aren't very important) argued "That wasn't blood. It was ketsup. And that wasn't a Mickey Mouse silhouette. It was a cajon-blackened steak Glen ate for lunch.".
Also affected by the new tariffs is the european distro KxStudio, maintained by "NATO foe" Felipe Coelho. Coelho has sent a letter of protest directly addressed to Donald Trump. When asked if Trump read the letter, Whitehouse press liar Sarah Hustle-Me Sanders replied "The president doesn't even read letters written in english, let alone one written in a language spoken in *hithole countries like Brazil".
Tensions between Trump and europe heightened when, during Trump's visit to the UK, he said about Queen Elizabeth that "her tits are so old and saggy, she doesn't need kneepads when gardening.".
On a completely unrelated and purely circumstantial matter, Trump signed an executive order removing the prohibition upon american firms from selling the Windows and iOS operating systems to russian computer hackers in the kremlin. NO COLLUSION!
The above information was provided by Fox News. So you know it's fair, and balanced, and may even bear a slight resemblance to reality.
Disclaimer: No banjo was injured during the drafting of this report.
But only because I don't own a banjo.
p.s. I'm back.
p.p.s. When it comes to fomenting angry mobs, khz is a rank amateur compared to me.
