First draft of a new one from me

[folderol]

Several lines of improvisation with minimal clean up afterwards (mostly timing corrections on the later parts) here

I still get the feeling of something missing, but can't 'find' it yet.

[oscillator]

Love that stone frog!

Beautiful chords and melody! Great!

Some things to try as you asked for it

1. More dynamtics in the melody. Could be velocity, pitch or timbre

2. Bring in a discreet arp. My favorite!

3. That trumpet that enters about halfway, louder

4. The choir, make it louder about halfway, maybe one octave up

Thanks for sharing!

[GMaq]

Hi!

I don't know much about giving guidance on Synth improvs..

I love the huge deep pads underneath especially when those big bass notes hit...whoa! I'm not super keen on the lead sound and I think part of what may be missing is the steadiness of the meter that you play the lead notes in gets a little repetitive. It might be nice if there were some triplets or clusters of notes in faster time...?

[Rainmak3r]

The first 6-7 seconds I thought you were going to play "Torna a Surriento" (my hometown incidentally), as the progression is very similar

Jokes apart, it's a beautiful improvisation, but I feel the chords a bit too drowned in the background, where they're barely audible even with headphones: I totally understand you probably want to make them more subdued rather than prominent, but I'd still make their presence a bit more "there", especially since theire important for the melody you play on top of them. Probably the fact the main instrument is plucked makes the difference in volume even more apparent, since the melody is inherently louder.

[folderol]

Thanks a lot for your replies and suggestions. They are all good points, and I'll try some of the changes.

Velocity is an easy one on. Being played on a keyboard there is plenty being sent. It's just that the lead sound is set for low sensitivity. I'll increase it and see what happens. I might also try a slightly softer sound anyway.

Background, too um, background. Always difficult to get that right. Here it sounds quite different depending on what kit I play it on
Also the later one is panned towards the right which makes the balance rather uneven, so I need to find something on the left to compensate.

Too many notes? Yes, that's been suggested elsewhere. This might be harder. I want to retain much of this as I have an idea for a title that would suggest it - not saying anything more on that right now

Oh, and that frog... I took the photo in 2008 on holiday in Fuerteventura. It was still there some years later, but erosion had washed the sand away spoiling the effect

[oscillator]

Looking forward to hear what becomes of this!

I think it is brave to post something "unfinished" and ask for opinions. Kudos to you.

[folderol]

Taking on board what's been said here and elsewhere I've made some changes, so here's another take.
The background synth has had the filter cutoff raised.
The lead sound has had velocity sensitivity increased, and some note pruning.
The murmuring sound has been changed slightly, and an echo added panned the other side.

[jeanette_c]

He @folderol , this is beautiful. Nice harmonies and this creamy powerful bass is just perfect!
Honestly, I wouldn't necessarily miss anything about it. I thought perhaps another pad layer might coime in, at first, to build up the size, but the tranquility doesn't need it. Have you tried experimenting with layering the lead sound for parts of this song, with something airy and elfin? That might flow well with the rest.
The second, almost hidden melody line on teh synthbrass like sound is beautiful. In my ears this line made the song for me, lifting it from a calm improvisation to a beautiful song.

[folderol]

Thanks a lot Jeanny. I've put it to bed now, and will have a final look at it in a week or so. It's then going into a Bandcamp project I'm working on. I have the title for it, but not saying what it is just yet

[jeanette_c]

...
I have the title for it, but not saying what it is just yet

Tease!

[oscillator]

Great stuff @folderol!

As @jeanette_c mentioned, that subtly played "synth-horn" is a great idea, just teasing a beautiful melancholy feeling.

A really good ending, too.

Overall, really beautiful track, thanks for sharing!

[milo]

I enjoyed listening. The second mix is definitely an improvement, but I still thought the lead was a bit prominent and could have been buried a little deeper in the mix.

[folderol]

Thanks milo. I have done some more work on this, but it is now has a proper name and is part of an album I'll be putting up on bandcamp soon-ish