Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

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lykwydchykyn
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Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by lykwydchykyn »

As the holidays approach, I'm thinking about gifts and so forth, so this just kind of came to mind.

My wife is amazing at sewing. She makes clothes, quilts, dolls, hats, you name it. Every year about this time she's sewing furiously creating gifts for family and friends, and every year people love the things she makes for them.

My mother is a talented photographer. She makes beautiful, artful prints of nature, mostly black & white. She doesn't often give photography as a gift, but nobody would be disappointed getting a print from her.

I have friends who do woodworking, they can make decorative pieces, bowls, small furniture items, etc. Great gift items.

You get the idea.

For some reason, though, the idea of gifting people a CD of my recordings just seems to fall flat with me. It seems awkward, cringey even; self-centered and self-promotional. I'm not sure why I think this; I mean, I would give someone a CD of their favorite artist as a gift without thinking. But somehow giving my own recordings just seems kind of goofy.

Am I being too self-critical, or is there a reason why this would be a bad idea?

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TAERSH
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by TAERSH »

Perhaps you should "pimp it up" by doing a good cover/inlay with information.
May help a little.

I did it once, around 20 years ago and I noticed the disappointed expression and the embarrassed / ashamed smile on the face of the recipient.
Nowadays I would do it again only, if I would knew that the person likes my music. So, my Girlfriend is the only one who gets my music on CD - of course, including a nice cover/inlay.

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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by baconature »

I sense this situation in the same way. It is about validity I think. We think our music inferior, and we live in a world full of competition. I think the issue of competition is at the heart of this situation. The system of a pecking order is well established in our brains as children. It is a psychological infliction that we suffer caused by competition. That is what I think in the least. I have thought about this situation for years and determined for myself that competition has far reaching effects in society. It creates more losers than winners. Were we to seek harmonious structures rather than winners and losers, life would be different for all of us.
Tom ~ Idaho USA

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Largos
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by Largos »

If you buy someone a recording of another's music then you think about what type of music they listen too. Giving some of your own music, if it's a CD of stuff you made earlier and you're just burning it onto a CD or picking up one of a 1000 run you got made up to sell, then it's less of a present and more of a promo copy. It's more than likely that your friends and family don't like your music*, so unless you do something specially for them in a way you know they'd like then it's kind of a bad present. Unless you're famous enough that you can autograph it and it'll be worth something on ebay :wink:

*I don't mean that in a cruel way, just people as a rule of thumb only like a small amount of music.

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sysrqer
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by sysrqer »

I think it is cringey and wouldn't do it.

An ex girlfriend's brother was killed in the Thai tsunami and a while after I sent her mum a song I recorded as a dedication to him (she is an artist so I thought she would understand the sentiment). I have regretted that ever since because while it could have been taken well, I suspect that it wasn't and now I can see that listening to a song was probably the last thing on her mind.

I guess it depends on what you make though. I don't think that anyone I would give gifts to would like my music so doing so would probably appear cheap and unappreciated.

Basslint
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by Basslint »

I think every person is different and for this reason, there isn't a single definitive answer.
The community of believers was of one heart and mind, and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they had everything in common. [Acts 4:32]

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jonetsu
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by jonetsu »

As a functional item. Music with a physical purpose. Relaxing, meditative music.

A carpenter told me earlier this week that he would very well work hearing some of the tunes I do. He said there's a beat, they are nice, makes a good change from radio. Not everything I do, but the appropriate ones suitable for that purpose.

If I would be giving away music as a gift (1) I would get out of my way to make something 'special' for relaxing and meditative purposes, and would then feel all right to give it, stating its purpose.

(1) BTW, 'Gift' in German means 'poison'.

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turbidh20
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by turbidh20 »

Just make sure you include the return receipt* :wink:

* a 28 day return period should be enough.

Not even my Wife listens to my music :lol: If someone told me they write and record their own music (or anything artistic and creative) I'd be really interested to investigate it but no one has the slightest interest in my music apart from my Father (he's a musician though).

And by the way, I'm not a self publicist! I only do it for my own enjoyment and satisfaction, I have absolutely no delusions of grandeur whatsoever. But when I do occasionally mention it, as it crops up in conversation, I'm always surprised by the apathy. I guess you're more talented these days by being a moron on "reality tv".
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TAERSH
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by TAERSH »

I guess you're more talented these days by being a moron on "reality tv".
TRUE! :lol:

lykwydchykyn
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by lykwydchykyn »

Largos wrote:
Wed Dec 02, 2020 5:30 pm
It's more than likely that your friends and family don't like your music*, so unless you do something specially for them in a way you know they'd like then it's kind of a bad present. Unless you're famous enough that you can autograph it and it'll be worth something on ebay :wink:
This is probably the pertinent point. People can love you without liking your music, so it'd be like giving them a CD of your favorite band that they don't like.

I have gifted music to people before, but it was always family and always a song they already knew and liked (i.e., not an original). That goes over well, as long as you know the song is special and they like it.

I think I wouldn't feel bad about gifting an original instrumental music CD either. Somehow that seems less personal and weird.

While I"m thinking out loud, I do remember my Aunt giving out a CD she recorded; it was all folky children's music. My kids actually really enjoy that CD, though, so it was a really fun gift.

Maybe it's that my music is just lyrically too serious and personal. It's like gifting people a copy of your diary. I should spend more time recording things that I feel good giving out.

Anyway, thanks for all the interesting discussion everyone!

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TAERSH
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by TAERSH »

jonetsu wrote:
Thu Dec 03, 2020 2:54 am
(1) BTW, 'Gift' in German means 'poison'.
So, you speak German, or you are German?

jonetsu
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by jonetsu »

TAERSH wrote:
Thu Dec 03, 2020 7:11 pm
jonetsu wrote:
Thu Dec 03, 2020 2:54 am
(1) BTW, 'Gift' in German means 'poison'.
So, you speak German, or you are German?
Already answered that in a recent reply to you. Bitte sehr.

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TAERSH
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by TAERSH »

jonetsu wrote:
Thu Dec 03, 2020 8:02 pm
TAERSH wrote:
Thu Dec 03, 2020 7:11 pm
jonetsu wrote:
Thu Dec 03, 2020 2:54 am
(1) BTW, 'Gift' in German means 'poison'.
So, you speak German, or you are German?
Already answered that in a recent reply to you. Bitte sehr.
Looks like I missed that reply, or just can't recall?

jonetsu
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by jonetsu »

TAERSH wrote:
Thu Dec 03, 2020 8:20 pm
Looks like I missed that reply, or just can't recall?
In the recent thread about the Vital synth in "Plugins". Went like this:

Yes it's very interesting. I've built Linux systems from scratch (LFS, BLFS) for both personal and professional uses. I ran my first Linux audio app, the MuSE seq/DAW in a BLFS system I've built. Professional uses when I was working in Germany, in order to reduce the footprint of the OS that was used for industrial machines. If I was to build Linux systems today I'm not sure I'd use systemd. I'd have to take a good look at it.

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GMaq
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Re: Why does giving your music as a gift feel awkward? Should it?

Post by GMaq »

Great OP question LC!

The way you framed the question was eerily exactly the same thought process I've went through many times.. I suppose "great minds think alike"..or do "fools seldom differ"?? :lol:

My music is pretty introspective and political so knowing some of my family probably lighting the Christmas tree on fire would be better tolerated than giving the uhm...errrr..'gift' of my music..

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