DO NOT GIVE UP On PeaceTime CoExistence & Music-Making

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DO NOT GIVE UP On PeaceTime CoExistence & Music-Making

Post by langoring_composer »

Geez, :idea:

OK. well, uh, um...

Early this morning, while I was sleeping away from home, somebody stole part of my travel bag.
And I'm not sure if they did something to me when it happened, because I was sleeping right next to my bag.
But when I woke up, I had a HUGE headache that lasted almost all day long.

Then I missed breakfast, logged into my computer, which hasn't been working quite right since a few days ago.
But I thought I'd fixed it. So I go to check my email and upload my first audio file to my webpage for music.
Then I discover from my webmail server that they think my account has been hacked and require extra verification via phone.

That would be OK, except that I don't currently own a phone, so I couldn't verify. Also, they said that perhaps my system was hit by a virus, so I should run antimalware software. I appreciate the warning, and yet it sucks if my system is infected. So I couldn't get into my email. Then I tried to get into my webpage, and realised that my trial email of my previous address expired, so I can't log in with that old email, and the new email won't work either.

On the plus side, I had successfully gotten my system setup for music production, but because of being low on funds, I had to sell off my USB MIDI controller so I could buy groceries instead.

And then during the last several weeks, I've been feeling rather emotionally sick for about 12 different reasons and my PTSD is not always manageable.
I was really worried about the USA provocation of Iran, and I couldn't get much sleep some nights so I stayed up too late downloading sentinmental stuff reminiscent of why I need to leave town again.

I think I got food poisoning again lately, and I'm not surprised that I've been having problems, because I ALWAYS HAVE PROBLEMS WHEN I'M IN THIS TOWN.

A couple of days ago I decided to take back an art gift I'd given to a local wifi/coffeeshop but somebody had since thrown it away or stolen it, even though it had been up on a wall for about 6 months or longer. I was intending to give it to one of the only people in town who seems to like me, but now I can't.

I did finally get back one or two items stolen from me, but the process has been taking way too long and I suspect local corruption and discrimination is as usual a factor as if I will stay here forever until they kill me or I die. Luckily, that's not the case.

I'm lucky enough that I wasn't killed overnight. And I've been also dismayed because one of the other stalkers showed up in town a few days ago.

A lot of the locals yell at me in their vehicles when they drive by, and some of them yell out obscenities or wierd jokes, or just plain insulting stuff.
A friend of mine tells me I ought to just ignore it, but it makes me want to place car-stopping obstacles in their path or drop heavy large objects off of the pededstrian overpass and cause a 65-car pileup to let them know they really ought not harrass me when I'm trying to be neutral or helpful, and keep to myself and not get hurt or aggitated.

I realise that my neurological injuries are a factor, and several others in this town also suffer from such types of injuries.
Some days are really good, but other days I feel like I'm at a total limit.

Luckily, I feel OK about now.
But I wanted to tell some of you who have been kind to me, and who are also decent musicians,...

I intend to continue making music INSTEAD of becoming yet another domestic terrorist.


However, since I keep getting hacked and assaulted, I'm not likely to be using this current computer, which is not even my preferred kind of hardware. The salesperson lied to me about it even though I'm a regular customer over several years. Some parts of it were DOA despite reassurances, and even after purchasing some extra backup parts, most of them also failed.

I did successfully regain access to my system after somebody unauthorised changed the passphrase, yet in the process of doing so, I realised how fragile the security of some stuff is.

I went back to studying some more serious topics over the last few days. And I've had some friendly conversations and I've been able to successfully warn some other people about what I've gone through so it doesn't happen to them too.

In conclusion, after another big setback, I can't post up what I had intended to post up:

1) more good music
2) more original artwork (hopefully good)
3) linux DAW optimization tips (updated)
4) a session recording of how I configure my DAW in ways that help which are not yet documented
5) links to more good music

So, it's pretty frustrating.
Peace be with y'all.
We are very lucky to be alive, and so am I.

Please don't be discouraged. I will make a comeback. And I'm really glad for the times when I have been able to help others successfully.
Today I erased my DAW system because it doesn't take that long to set one up, but the saboteurs have been on my case A LOT, and even though I moved to a different town, they are starting to get bad here too, (or they are hacking remotely). It could easily be the same crew which is attacking me physically though.

Nevertheless, others have acknowledged to me that it happened to them too.
And a few bold people admit from time to time that they believe me.
And I believe them too.


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Re: DO NOT GIVE UP On PeaceTime CoExistence & Music-Making

Post by rghvdberg »

Hang in there buddy...
Are you seeing a counsiler or doctor to deal with the ptsd? You said that the medication doesn't always work, probably needs some fine tuning.

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Re: DO NOT GIVE UP On PeaceTime CoExistence & Music-Making

Post by jonetsu »

rghvdberg wrote:Hang in there buddy... Are you seeing a counsiler or doctor to deal with the ptsd? You said that the medication doesn't always work, probably needs some fine tuning.
Well, recently in the news there was an article about some cities who have decriminalized psilocybin (magic mushrooms that grows commonly in farmer's fields) based on the help they can provide to people with ptsd.

This aside, I wonder why "people" are hitting on him. Why is that to start with ?

Secondly, there's no, none whatsoever really, point in getting stressed by whatever the presidency of the USA can say or do. That's what they want ideally, that their own population - why the whole world - tremble and be in deep dis-ease based on what they say and do. What they hate most are people living at ease with themselves while still being highly critic of their "system". People who can laugh, share joy, while turning down all their scams to make people stressed out, and deeply worried. There's just about only one way to do that separation: by getting close to the core of what we are as living individuals who are breathing life every single day and are truly becoming not afraid of the "sky falling on their heads".

With all that, cheers.

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