LinuxMusicians

Members here are generally friendly and helpful and the real world isn't one gigantic Nanny State marshmallow safe space, nor should it aspire to become one.

Whether new members hang around or not is up to themselves, there isn't any kind of problem here. Give it a rest.

I drop in with a welcome from time to time, but like to think a welcome is genuine, not just a boiler plate "Have a nice day".

Welcoming new members here, in this forum, makes sense, but only because there is an entire subforum just for that. There is no such thing in most forums I've been in, and I've been in an awful lot of them. I've seen it before, it's just not very common.

I think it's nice, but superfluous. The membership and the discussions are helpful, nice and friendly in general and that's what really counts. Then again, if someone (Raboof?) made that subforum, it's because someone (Raboof?) wanted a lot of welcoming to happen. But I'm pretty sure it was never meant to be an obligation. If you like the practice, do it. It's even encouraged, just not required.

So I guess everything is fine and there is no issue really.

I tend to have bit too little time. When I'm here, I try to share my time 2/3 learning things I'm interested, and 1/3 trying to help someone else. Typically I don't spend my time on that subforum, simply because I feel that simple 'welcome' does not help anybody, and specificly, does not fix anybodys problems.

42low wrote:If you walk in a repairshop for repairing your gear but they don't even decently welcome you, do you trust them then?

I respect them They're the experts at doing what they do, not a putting out superficial smiles. Who wants to live with superficiality thinking it's the real thing ? What a deceiving thing to do !

Missing a 'maybe' in the poll. Like Laurie Anderson said in "Home of the Brave" the problem with 0 and 1 is that there's no space in-between.

If I walk in to any kind of store I say Hi and say what I want, I don't want a new best friend. Not really to do with the poll, just saying.

Something I absolutely detest when shopping is getting accosted the second I step foot in a shop and asked if I need help or what am I looking for before you've had time to even get orientated. The assistants who do that are generally nowhere to be found when you actually do need help and aren't observant enough to keep an eye on browsing customers – they're usually too busy gossiping with their colleagues or otherwise slacking off. Currys/PC Woe staff seem to be the worst for that, which is why I avoid the place like the plague.

I don't see the point in welcoming people, it serves no useful purpose but if people want to do that, fine, just don't expect others to be the same as you. People don't all have the same psychological make-up and don't all share the view that life would be so much better if we all just got along. Being friendly, helpful and courteous (or even just not being a dick) when replying to topics is what really counts on a forum.

Those high in trait disagreeableness are people too and fostering a sense that they ought to be other than their innate nature isn't welcoming to them

No, I'm British.

Baggypants wrote:No, I'm British.

Me too, old bean

42low wrote:Kindness doesn't cost a thing (but it's so hard to be nice for some ).

42low wrote:So even the "open source community" seems to have it's selfish egoists. And then those speaking to me requiring "to be open" so the whole world can profit one way of this forum without giving back anything.
So be "open" yourself first before you talk to me about it.

Agreeableness/Disagreeableness is one of the five fundamental dimensions of personality, one of the measurable, quantifiable ways in which people differ. It's a core part of people's psychological makeup, what makes them who they are and something that can't be fundamentally changed (brain damage aside).

On first impressions you seem to be quite an Agreeable person (but I'm not a psychologist), wanting peace and harmony. Yet you also come across as very intolerant – not everybody is as Agreeable as you and it's something they can no more change than they can change their eye colour. It does cost Disagreeable people something: effort outside of their nature and comfort zone and it doesn't make us selfish or egotistical (or other trollish epithets you want to throw at us), it's just who we are.

Beyond innate personality traits, different people have different priorities, time constraints, cultural attitudes to things as well, which will affect how they approach these things and the costs associated with them.

The world would be a better place if people accepted others for who they are without wanting everyone to be as they are, or wanting to change people. If you want to welcome every newb to the forum, cool, go ahead. Just don't expect everyone else to, especially by whining at them to do so and being petulant about it.

When I first showed up at this forum, I don't think I posted anything to introduce myself, nor did I expect a welcoming committee. I just jumped in and started asking questions. I do understand that personalities differ, so some might feel more inclined to participate more based on their initial interactions on the forum.